Christmas season is a magical time of year. The weather cools down, the houses and streets are illuminated with lights and decorations, and the melodious songs of Christmas emerge in almost every radio station as people anticipate the holiday’s arrival. It seems like everyone is happier…except those whose birthday is on the 23rd day of December.
You may be called “the best Christmas gift ever” or “a holiday miracle,” but in reality, your day of birth will always take a backseat to “the most wonderful time of the year.” I, along with anyone else born within a week’s span of this holiday, can truly say that we have the worst birthdays ever. Don’t believe me? Well, in the spirit of Christmas, I will make a list to support my claim. I guarantee you won’t have to check this one twice to believe me.
1. We get cheated on presents
I cannot fathom how many times someone has told me how great my birthday is because I get “double the presents.” To the surprise of many, it’s the opposite. I actually get about half the gifts I am owed. People seem to think that if they give a really good present then it can count for both Christmas and my birthday. However, they are barely any better. I mean, is 5 extra dollars really an upgrade? I’m looking at you, Uncle Eric!
2. Everybody forgets your birthday
Since Christmas has to soak up all the attention from almost everyone on the planet, there is none left for my birthday. Aside from my family (that isn’t even a given), most of my friends seem too busy with their holiday festivities to send me a simple text message or give me a short phone call wishing me a happy birthday. Is it too much to ask for people to celebrate the anticipation of my birthday for three months and make several movies and songs about it? It is? Oh, my bad.
3. No one is in town to celebrate with you
The people who care enough to celebrate my birthday with me always seem to be out of town during the day of my birthday. They’d rather be with their families for Christmas or explore the country. How selfish is that! There isn’t even school to force people to be in town because winter break falls on my birthday every time. The one time school comes in handy (besides providing the students with the best online newspaper) it takes a vacation.
4. Christmas is not the only holiday that ruins it
As a Jew who celebrates Christmas (do not question me), I have to deal with Hanukkah interrupting my birthday as well. Every few years my birthday gets the epic double team of Christmas and Hanukkah, and if you have been reading my list like a good boy/girl you know what that means: A THIRD LESS PRESENTS! YAY! That’s what I get for skipping all those Hebrew school classes.
I could go on and on, but I think that I have made my point. So, I will leave you with a special homage to my mother. Thank you Mom for bringing me into this world, but couldn’t you have waited one more week?